My testimony is complete opposite of Bobby’s. I was raised in a loving family, my dad worked hard to give us everything we needed and most of what we wanted. He died month before their 60th wedding anniversary.
All of my schooling was Christians Schools. I had Religion Class every day and I was a good student. I went to Sunday School and church. I knew my memory verses, all the stories, the 66 books in order. I knew Jesus died for me…I knew it all and because I knew it all, you couldn’t tell me anything. I memorized the Catechism and was confirmed when I was 13.
I was basically a Good Girl, until my second year in high school when I discovered sex and drugs. Then it was all about fun, but most of all I was seeking acceptance. I wanted to be part of the In Crowd.
I finished school, got a job, got married….lived my life on my terms. I was addicted to pot…and didn’t give the Lord a second thought. I did many things I was ashamed of but I still did them!
God was my go to guy when I was in trouble. “Lord, get me out of this and I’ll never do it again.” I didn’t live for Him, I never consulted Him, didn’t read my Bible or take my kids to church. When my first husband died tragically at the age of 23, I was pregnant with my 3rd child…and so angry at God! “How could you do this to me?” I went crazy for a while, I seemed to have an attitude of party while you can, life is short!
I remarried an alcoholic…and he turned out to be abusive. We had a child, my fourth boy! My second husband died very young as well, at the age of 32. At this point I felt like the “Black Widow”. “Don’t love me or you will die.” `
I spent many years angry at God and didn’t teach my children about Him. That is one of my biggest regrets.
I was convinced that if I had died during those years, I would have gone to heaven. I knew Him, I knew the Bible, and I’m good!
Matt 7:22 + 23 says, “Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’
I would have said “I went to Church school! Sang in the choir! Know the Bible!” “I was baptized when I was a baby!...You died for me!” He would have said “Depart from me!”
I met Bobby when I was 38, very lonely, but self-sufficient….or at least I thought I was. I loved him…he was saved and talked about the Lord, but was still battling demons and trying to learn how to trust the Lord with his life…and he was still addicted to drugs.
At the age of 42, I was alone at home, at the end of myself. I had made a mess of my life. It became clear to me that I needed Him. I realized that I was so out of His will and had never had a relationship with Him. I cried out to Him, broken….I confessed my sin, and I surrendered the rest of my life to Him…to do with me what He saw fit. I dug into the Word, got baptized, and began a real relationship.
I have a 24/7 relationship with my husband. We talk about things, we discuss decisions to be made…we work together. That is what Jesus wants…not just a Sunday morning/Wednesday night visit, but a relationship where we depend on Him for EVERYTHING!My life has changed! Is it perfect? NO! But He has given me strength for the journey and inside I have peace and joy that could only come from Jesus. He has given me a purpose and uses everything the world meant for bad to His glory. I praise His Holy Name!